Runaways... more often than not, there is a reason kids run away. We need to listen more and talk less to hear what they really need. No one really understood why I continued to run.

Hi, my name is Sarah and I am a survivor of familial trafficking. I haven’t just survived, I have made it my life mission to help others in their journey to heal and be restored to who God sees them to be, not who others say they are or are supposed to be.

Over the years I’ve repeatedly heard comments about being a statistic. Personally, I cringe when I hear that word. Statistically, you should have or you shouldn’t have… In reality we need to allow individuals to experience life as they dream or hope it to be, with their own desires and aspirations not as they are forced or coerced to be or do.

I once heard a Pastor say, be warned when you hear the words, “You Should, it’s other people’s opinions of what you should or shouldn’t do.” What might be better wording would be, “You might consider or have you ever thought about.”

On this page you will find a small glimpse into some truths that have happened to myself and may happen to others. Keeping in mind everyone’s story is different, yet, there can be similar situations or scenarios.

I recently heard the song Runaway Train by Jamie Commons and watched it on YouTube. Memories of when I would run away came flooding my mind. These memories are not part of my book A Journey Back to Restoration, but they are real and they did happen.

How many railroad tracks I walked to stay out of sight? How many times I traveled at night to stay out of sight. Hiding in abandoned houses during the day. Hitching a ride in a van being offered a hotdog because I looked like I hadn't eaten. (It was true, I hadn't had anything to eat for days.) During this same run away, I was so desperate and thirsty I drank water from a puddle in a parking lot.

Or the time a couple found me at Burger King and bought me a meal. Then there's the time I ended up in NY city. I was smart enough to know I was in trouble that time, because the guy that took me there left me in a dark alley. When he went in the building, I ran and searched for help.

Not all children are as fortunate as I was on that day. Many get caught up in a life they have no understanding of.

Trafficking...drugs...and...

If you see something, say something. Let them know you see them, call for help. There are too many missing children and they are not all runaways.

 

Healing Through Triggers

The definition of TRIGGER is to cause an intense and usually negative emotional reaction in (someone)

A trigger can cause an unforeseen reaction when you least expect it. It can bring on a panic attack, it can cause your body to become immobilized, make your mind go blank, it can cause you to be overwhelmed or distressed.

Triggers can also be caused by dates and time, an age of a remembered occurrence (a subconscious memory), a smell, a touch, a sound, even objects and people.

It amazes me how our bodies remember details of events that happen to us when we don’t remember them in our present-day thinking. I think of it as a built-in safety feature, that protects us until our body says it’s okay to remember.

I think one of the oddest triggers I’ve ever experienced was a door handle. I had traveled to New York for a speaking engagement and was staying at the host’s home. After being shown to my room, I turned around to close the door so I could have a few moments to rest after traveling. As I grabbed for the doorknob, instantly I froze. Instead of a doorknob, it was an old-fashioned door latch. Instead of being present where I actually was, I was instantly transported to the bathroom of our old farmhouse. The same room where I had experienced some of the abuse at the hands of my stepmother. That bathroom door had the same type of latch.

Because I had experienced healing to the point of being able to recognize I wasn’t in harm’s way, I was able to redirect my thinking and tell myself I was safe and come back to the present moment. For some starting out on the healing journey, it’s not that simple.

For individuals who have experienced complex trauma to the point of being affected by triggers, techniques need to be learned to be able to redirect their thoughts and responses.

While there are many techniques that can be implemented, a few of the techniques we implement while walking with others on their healing path are…

  1. Focusing on breathing
    To help the mind recognize it is safe, focus on breathing. Breathe in slowly and hold, then exhale slowly and hold. Repeat several times. 

  2. Using the five senses
    Focusing on the five senses can help ground a person and be another affective tool. By focusing on things that can be seen, touched, heard, smelled, and tasted, it causes a distraction in the brain and nurtures a sense of calmness in the body. Take a moment to STOP and think about and say them out loud to help you recognize where you are

    5 things that you can see
    4 things that you can touch
    3 things that you can hear
    2 things that you can smell
    1 thing that you can taste

  3. Words of Affirmation
    Writing or speaking words of affirmation reminds you who you are. Using sticky notes on mirrors or cabinets helps visualize the words and provides a daily reminder.

  4. Exercise
    Take a walk or do some exercise. Movement increases dopamine and helps relieve depression and heightens a person’s level of happiness and joy. 

  5. Splash Water on Your Face
    Go to the bathroom and splash cold water on your face. The coolness of the water revitalizes a person which helps to be present in the moment. 

Triggers are just part of the process that we help women work through as they make the decisions to move forward in their journey of healing.

On the flip side there are glimmers. Glimmers of HOPE!

 

Experience Healing In The Glimmers

The definition of GLIMMER is to shine faintly or wavering light.

Simply put, a glimmer is a ray of hope. It’s something that brings a sense of happiness or a feeling of joy.

Sometimes it’s difficult to see these glimmers when a person has experienced the amount of trauma that survivors have experienced. But I can tell you from personal experience it can happen.

I am reminded of another trip I was on in Texas. I was creating art with a group of teenage girls who had been rescued from trafficking. One of the girls said to me at the end of the session, “You shine.” Two simple words. But what she hadn’t realized is the impact that those words had on me. No one had ever spoke words like that to me.

I want to shine. I want to share that light with others. The glimmers, glimmers of hope.

Recently, on yet another trip to Illinois, I had asked for feedback from the women I was working with. They were hesitant to offer feedback, but I assured them it helps myself and others when feedback is received. It helps me to know if I need to make adjustments or improve on something that I haven’t yet learned. It’s true, as a survivor, I still have feelings of inadequacy and uncertainty. However, I have a new mindset and I tell myself, I can become…I can be…

When they finally offered feedback, I was surprised to hear the words, “You are animated.” I wasn’t even sure how to respond because I wasn’t sure what they meant by, animated. I simply thanked them for the feedback. However, that night I looked up the definition and learned the real meaning of ANIMATED isn’t cartoon, but – full of life or excitement.

I immediately experienced a glimmer as it brought a smile to my face. Realizing how many years I wasn’t able to feel joy or happiness and now that’s how others see me.

I returned the next day and thoroughly thanked them for their feedback. I explained how much it meant to me. And then, I turned it back to them and told them, moving forward, my prayer for each one of them was for them to experience animation. To experience life to the fullest and be filled with excitement.

Together we can help one another experience that joy, laughter, hope and glimmers. Together we can make life better by walking alongside others on their healing path. Together We Initiate Growth and Stability.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:4-8 NIV